Changing Your Spouse by Oscar and Crystal Jones

Have you ever thought about changing your spouse?  Not everything… but some of the  little annoyances. If you are honest, you have to admit there are some things you want to change about your spouse.    We all do. Maybe you want more your spouse to be more affectionate, on time,  a better financial steward or just be a neater person.  Maybe you want your mate to be more relational with his/her family, more faithful in his/her walk with Christ or quicker to forgive others.  These things are not unreasonable. In fact, the change you want to see would actually benefit your spouse.  A tweak here or there.  We all see things that we want changed.  The problem is we can’t change our spouses.  No amount of nagging, talking, crying or pleading will work.  Those activities aren't the magic wands of change.

That doesn't mean your spouse won’t ever change. Change may come but we cannot orchestrate that change. First of all, we are not skilled enough to cause that change to come.  God uses the right recipe of grace and mercy to bring us to a place of change.  He knows the right timing to bring each particular area of concern to light. He knows how to deal with the painful areas in our lives that got us here in the first place.  His love covers.  As humans, we may know the destination, but not clearly understand the route that needs to be taken. We would just trample all over sensitive places just to get to the change.  God doesn't do that.  He is all knowing.  He understands both how we got there and how we need to get out. 

Not only that, it really doesn't feel good when your spouse is constantly trying to change you.  It makes you feel like you are not accepted the way you are.  God alone is God enough.  He doesn't need any help from us.  His molding is therapeutic.  It may still be painful just not in the same way.    

So what should you do if you see areas that need to be changed?  You can patiently pray for that change to occur.  But you can’t execute the change.  You said, “I do” to your spouse right where they are. So love him or her through it.  It is NOT your personal assignment to change him/her.  Can you share an area of concern every now and again?  Only as we are led by the Holy Spirit. We have to allow the Holy Spirit to do His work in His timing.  We don’t get to help Him.  We simply must obey His leading in our lives.  'Cause isn't that how we want it for ourselves?  Please be mindful, there are some things your spouse wants changed about you.