It's Worth The Fight by Lyntina McClendon

It's so interesting; it seems not many people are up for the fight to keep their marriages. All over the news we hear about the "hot couples" being the new victims of divorce proceedings after a bout with infidelity.


What's more interesting is that this is not exclusive to the secular world; we are seeing an epidemic of divorce amongst believers, when we know that God's word says "the two shall become one flesh".

What is it? Are we not strong enough to fight for our marriage? Is it impossible to hold back words of wrath and bitterness against our own spouse? Are we so flimsy that at the first occurence of a major issue we fold and throw in the towel? There is no question that today's marriages face an abundance of agitators and opponents of harmony: In Laws, Differences of Opinion, Infidelity,  Finances or the Lack thereof, Stepchildren and the other parent, Communcation Deterioration, Frienemies that encourage you to leave instead of insisting that you fight for your marriage. These are just a few of the things that are constantly coming at the married couple on a daily basis. It would be foolish, to disregard the severity of each of the above situations, because they are real. However, we can accomplish and conquer anything, if there is unity and a common determination - We are going to fight for our marriage and WIN.

It is very probable that today's statistics of split-ups and divorce is due to selfishness and slothfulness. If things are not going smoothly, instead of focusing on a strategy to find the root of the conflict and resolve that, we start giving deadlines for the spouse to straighten up or its "deuces". What a lazy way to combat a problem. Absolutely no resolve to fight. We show more resolve to fight when we see a mouse in the house. "I can't sleep until that mouse is dead", we say. We are willing to "give up sleep" to kill a mouse, but we won't get actively involved to save our marriage, we leave it on the other person to "straighten up" and that in itself is a selfish stance.

Did you stop to think that "you" might need to adjust something in your position? Did you stop to think that your spouse may take the same attitude you have taken? For both people to leave the solution on the other person makes the ground a Standoff. You stand off from each other. You stand off the vows you made for richer, poorer, better, worse. You stand off from becoming a tool to repair what is broken. You stand off from the fight, because it takes too much work. YOU STANDOFF AGAINST GODS WORD. The Two shall become ONE FLESH.

Now, I don't know of anyone in their right mind that fights their own flesh. When I stub my toe, my mouth screams in anguish! My hand grabs the foot and my knees buckle. My pores sweat indicating to the whole body, our toe is hurt and we gotta stop this hurt! Now it would be a sad picture to see someone kicking a wall with the intention of stubbing the toe, and then see that same person laughing and pointing at the toe, saying "thats what you get!" Sounds absolutely insane, doesn't it? Well that's just how we sound when we are attacking and hurting our spouse. YOUR SPOUSE IS YOUR FLESH. To stab your spouse in the chest is to stab yourself in the back. Stop fighting each other and use that energy to Fight for your MARRIAGE.

It does not matter WHAT you are facing, you are much more effective TOGETHER. If you have the energy to talk on the phone to your friend about your issues, you have the energy to talk to your spouse to come up with a plan to resolve your issues. If you have enough energy to scheme and find a way to make your spouse feel low, you have the energy to speak well of your spouse and build up! You see, we are using the energy that is supposed to go towards the nuture of our marriage incorrectly. We are using it to tear down and that is not in God's will for you.

Take every ounce of gumption, strenth and intention that you have in your being and Fight for your marriage. Fight. Win!!!