In marriage, we have the privilege of allowing God and our spouse to help us walk through the complicated seasons of our lives. We also get to enjoy our successes together. We are eager to share our triumphs, but it can be a lot harder to share our difficulties or even hopes and dreams.
One of the benefits of marriage is being able to be naked before your spouse–both physically and emotionally. God’s design for marriage is that we would be one–in mind, body and soul. Transparency is liberating and contagious. We have found that transparency with someone you love, invites transparency. We now realize that talking through our fears is like turning on the light in a dark room–the boogeyman seems to disappear.
It took a while for John and I to learn to trust each other with our inner-most fears–for John, it was dying young. John has sickle cell anemia and at the time we were married was not expected to live past his 20's. With that in mind, fear drove his choices and decisions early in our marriage– he was afraid that he might die before he ever really lived. I was also driven by fear–fear that my “happily ever after” life would never be realized. As a result, there were times that I was afraid to give myself fully to it.
We invite you to do as Jesus did in the Garden (Matt. 26:39). He was honest in His communication with God, but submitted to the plans and purpose of His destiny. We are advocates of professional counseling–do not be hesitant to seek pastoral or professional Christian counseling to help the communication process when necessary.
Prayer Focus: Lord, please help me to be open and transparent before you and my spouse. I submit my will to you for your purpose. I choose faith over fear and transparency over secrecy.
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