Loving Like There's No Tomorrow

She called screaming, she had found out that she had cancer.  She felt scared, angry, vulnerable and confused all at the same time.  What was this all about?  How did she get it? Was she being punished?  She had many questions that none of us could seem to answer.  She so wanted to live.

Her husband was also caught off guard.  How did a routine examination turn into something so terminal?  He put up a tough front but was dying on the inside.

Their marriage was…as she put it - fair.  It wasn’t really bad and it wasn’t really good.  It could be better.  Just a few months before the diagnosis, she was frustrated with him.  They seemed to take each other for granted.  They argued over little things. She was sarcastic and he was harsh. They didn’t agree on much.  She wasn’t submissive.  He was somewhat passive.  And neither had an urgency to change. But now there was an expiration date on their ever after.  The doctor gave her 6 months.

This intruder that ravaged her body helped to put things in perspective for them. Over the next several months, things begin to shift in their relationship.  Her husband took her to her doctor's and chemo appointments.  He prepared her meals.  He helped her bathe. He held her when she cried.  And prayed with her when she felt hopeless.  They changed the way they talked to each other.    All the things that used to hold so much weight – now meant nothing.  Money was no longer a challenge.  There were co-pays to meet. And meds to purchase.  She acquiesced to his leadership. They made plans with simplicity. Each kiss and touch meant something more than it ever did before. The closeness that the two shared was something out of a romance movie.

And 10 months later, she died.

He no longer held his strong composure.  He wept like a baby.   And although the parting of his spouse was painful and difficult, he shared with us that he had received a gift.  In his lifetime, he experienced “Holy Matrimony”.  This couple had adjusted their marriage in light of the fact that this world is temporal.  And because of that, they were able to experience God’s best in the last few months of their marriage.  He did not focus on the time lost, but on the time granted.

It is in every couple’s best interest to live like tomorrow is not promised.  We would forgive quicker, make better decisions, fight less, and love more. We really shouldn’t have to get a diagnosis to cause us to love our spouses with everything we’ve got. The reality is – if you never get a diagnosis, tomorrow is still not promised to you.  We should not take each other for granted. Every one of our steps are numbered.  Live in love with your spouse.  Love him or her like there’s no tomorrow!