Standing in line at a grocery store, there were two ladies in front of me. Now these ladies were of different cultures and obviously spoke 2 different languages. The first lady saw that the other had only a few items and extended an invitation for her to step in front of her.
Lady # 1: “Do you want to go in front of me?”
Lady #2: “Yes."
Eventhough, lady # 2 said, "Yes", she didn’t move. I noticed that woman #2 continued to answer yes, every time lady #1 repeated her offer. But she didn’t understand what the other lady was trying to do. Her answer was yes, but her actions were something else.
This scenario continued several times. Finally the exasperated woman proceeded to the checkout without allowing the second lady to go forward. Lady #2 missed her blessing.
This was a classic case of communication breakdown. She didn’t understand, but yet she answered. How many times in marriage has this scenario played out? For various reasons, one spouse says something and the other answers without ever clearly understanding what is being asked.
Sometimes, this can happen because we don’t tune into what is being said or we simply ignore the request. It is important that we take the time to listen, not only with our ears, but with our hearts. Communication involves more than just hearing. We should pay close attention to one another. There is an art to hearing what is not being said.
In this age of technology and multi-tasking, we must also work on minimizing distractions in order to hear and understand. Too often one spouse is texting, on the computer or watching television while the other is pleading to be heard. The distracted spouse needs to stop whatever he/she is doing and “really” hear his/her spouse.
The Bible tells us that in all our getting, we are to get an understanding (Proverbs 4:7b). We cannot move forward as a couple unless we strive to understand each other. Husbands are encouraged to dwell with their wives according to knowledge (I Peter 3:7). However it takes paying close attention to really know your wife. A spouse may be annoyed and frustrated by the reaction of the other. Effective communication requires that we practice patience and become great listeners.
Whatever the case couples must seek to be on the same page in every arena of their marriage and work on those areas that need it most. Miscommunication can hinder us from moving toward oneness. Let us seek to understand. It just requires that you tune in and listen up. There may be a blessing in it for you.
What if the communication is there but there is never a solution to the problem. My husband stops and listens then replies that is something we should do. But he never gives a definite answer, which in return i get frustrated and do something then he disagrees with what I set forth to do to solve the issue. How should I approach my husband to get a straight answer?
ReplyDeleteThe problem is that the communication is NOT there. You both need to seek to hear and understand each other. Ask more definitive questions, so that you are not doing something he disagrees with. Maybe present solutions in multiple choise form. Ask which would he prefer. That will help you make sure the two of you are on the same page.
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