Have you ever thought about changing your spouse? Not everything… but some of the little annoyances. If you are honest, you have
to admit there are some things you want to change about your spouse. We
all do. Maybe you want more your spouse to be more affectionate, on time, a better financial steward or just be a neater
person. Maybe you want your mate to be
more relational with his/her family, more faithful in his/her walk with Christ or
quicker to forgive others. These things
are not unreasonable. In fact, the change you want to see would actually
benefit your spouse. A tweak here or
there. We all see things that we want
changed. The problem is we can’t change
our spouses. No amount of nagging, talking,
crying or pleading will work. Those activities aren't the magic wands of change.
That doesn't mean your spouse won’t ever change. Change may
come but we cannot orchestrate that change. First of all, we are not skilled
enough to cause that change to come. God
uses the right recipe of grace and mercy to bring us to a place of change. He knows the right timing to bring each
particular area of concern to light. He knows how to deal with the painful
areas in our lives that got us here in the first place. His love covers. As humans, we may know the destination, but
not clearly understand the route that needs to be taken. We would just trample
all over sensitive places just to get to the change. God doesn't do that. He is all knowing. He understands both how we got there and how
we need to get out.
Not only that, it really doesn't feel good when your spouse
is constantly trying to change you. It
makes you feel like you are not accepted the way you are. God alone is God enough. He doesn't need any help from us. His molding is therapeutic. It may still be painful just not in the same
way.
So what should you do if you see areas that need to be
changed? You can patiently pray for that change to
occur. But you can’t execute the
change. You said, “I do” to your spouse
right where they are. So love him or her through it. It is NOT your personal assignment to change him/her. Can you share an area of concern every now and again?
Only as we are led by the Holy Spirit. We have to allow the Holy Spirit
to do His work in His timing. We don’t
get to help Him. We simply must obey His
leading in our lives. 'Cause isn't that
how we want it for ourselves? Please be
mindful, there are some things your spouse wants changed about you.
