Why this attitude is so prevalent is a mystery to me. My wife and I were fortunate enough, in the beginning of our marriage, to see the value of marriage conferences. These often awkward and uncomfortable weekends birthed wisdom and protection in our young marriage. It also saved my marriage before it needed saving.
Here’s one such lesson and how it played out:
First of all, God has an awesome sense of humor. We are Americans that traveled to Canada, to
hear a white couple from South Africa. The lesson that weekend for me, “Soul Ties”.
They shared about the connection that can happen between two
people of the opposite sex that is similar to a kindred spirit. On the surface it seems simply friendly, but
there is something “beckoning” you to spend time with this person with the
honest intent of just being friends. It is this beckoning that should concern
you.
Here’s what the speakers didn’t know about me. I love my wife and had no intention of
hurting her. At work, however, a new
girl was just hired. Being a gentleman,
I introduced myself to make her feel welcomed.
Before long, I felt “beckoned” to visit her desk for short chats. I found myself adjusting my breaks to coincide
with her breaks to chat some more. I was making a new friend, or so I thought.
I had zero intent on initializing anything more than a friendship,
and thought it was our common cultural heritage that caused the beckoning. The seminar opened my eyes and I could see
where this relationship was truly headed.
One thing does not lead to
another. You lead one thing to the next
thing.
I prayed for God’s
help, told my wife, and began to purposely adjust my breaks to not coincide
with my coworker. Within a month or so,
she left the company. Interesting…
Today, 20 years later, I still purposely go out of my way to
say hi or give a kind word to a stranger, and there is still the rare occasion
of meeting someone and feeling that “beckoning”. Once identified, evasive actions are taken to
protect my marriage. Saving my marriage before it needs saving.
Whether others picked up this lesson that weekend, we may
never know. For me, however, I take this
lesson, throw in a couple dozen more “nuggets of wisdom” from other marriage
conferences, and thank God for protecting
my marriage from major drama.
CHALLENGE FOR HUSBANDS:
Our wives usually want to go to these weekend getaways, but
we don’t. Take the time, honor your
wife, and keep your ears open. Do that
and God will go out of His way to give you “nuggets of wisdom”. Go ahead, put it on your calendar!
