In our last blog, we covered the benefits of finding the
right help, and how with the right help we are provided with the treatment
necessary to begin the healing process and then led in the direction of a
healthy married life.
In addition, we have found that finding the right help is
just the first step. Once we obtain the counsel necessary, we must then apply
the instructions given to continue the healing process. Let’s continue with our
story.
After being assured we were in the right place and receiving
the necessary treatment, we were provided with care instructions to follow once
we were home. We would have to be sure to clean the area at least 3 times a
day. The area would need to be thoroughly dried and aired out for a while. Next
we would have to apply the cream to the wound and wrap it in gauze to protect
it from bacteria and infection. They informed us to be liberal with the
application of the cream, more is better to help with the healing process. Once
the healing began, we no longer were required to wrap the wound in the gauze,
but were to continue to apply the special cream. This cream kept the area soft
and free from a hardening scab. It kept it from beginning to dry out rapidly
and cause itching, irritation, and scarring.
As you can see, there were very specific steps we had to
take to assure that the wound our son suffered was able to heal properly. We
have found that this is similar to our marriage relationship. The primary
intent of instructions is to prevent casualties and produce healing and healthy
growth. Oftentimes we tend to view instructions in a negative fashion, feeling
that we are being stripped of what we desire and how we feel about the matter.
But when we are able to see the benefits of what we are kept from and the rewarding
relationship that is produced, we are then able to see the value in instruction
and follow through. This is all found in the application process.
Cleansing – Renewing
Before anything could be applied to the wound, there had to
be a cleansing process. A removal of the harmful, infectious, dead areas
exposing the area that needed to be treated. In Romans 12:2a the Bible says “Do
not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of
your mind. This is the process of removing the toxic mindset and habits that we
have acquired through experience or faulty teaching and then being exposed to
the life giving power of God’s Word.
Aired Out – Communication
Communication is the key. Not just any type of
communication, but seeking out righteous communication. This applies to the
individual that keeps everything bottled up, as well as to the individual that
tells how they feel with no discretion. The goal is to afford each other a safe
environment to effectively and efficiently communicate the issues and concerns
that arise in the relationship. Prioritizing the Husband/Wife Meeting is vital
to the health of your marriage.
Apply Cream – Application
In Matthew 7:24-27 we see two houses that experience the
exact same circumstances, but two very different outcomes. They also received
the same instruction. What separated disaster from triumph was one basic
principle… application. One house stood because it put into practice the
instructions given. The other house fell because it did not put into practice
the instructions it was given. Information without application creates
frustration. Our marriages have the potential to be healthy as long as we are
willing to apply what we learn.
Wrap It – Protection
This is just a reminder of the initial concept; finding the
right help. We have to be very careful and selective when it comes to who we
expose our wounds to. It is well advised
to have individuals in your life that provide a type of covering for your marriage.
This keeps you accountable so that you don’t find yourself “covering up” the
matter but seeking counsel from a protective “covering.”
Apply Liberally – More is better
The goal is saturation. We must get into the practice of
saturating our marriages in godly practices, continuing to encourage exposure
to the right things even after the wound begins to heal. James 1:4 says “But let
patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete,
lacking nothing.” God’s ultimate goal is not just a marriage that is healed,
but one that is whole and complete.
The great part about consistent application
is that it changes the natural habit of things. In our sons example, the
application of the cream kept his skin from responding in its natural way by
producing a hardening scab and eventual scarring. In our marriages, when we
apply the prescribed material, we will begin to see that our natural habit of
harboring unforgiveness, bitterness and resentment will change. It will prevent
a hardening of the heart and produce a heart that is soft, pliable and
receptive.
Finally, when the healing has begun, we
will no longer have the need to wrap up the wounds our marriages have suffered.
What appeared to be chaos and destruction now has the potential to become a
testament of the power of God’s Word activated by application.
Apply
Liberally,
Team
Colbert
