My wife and I were sitting at a restaurant eating when I observed a middle-aged gentleman walk to his car. I noticed he didn’t drive off. He sat there for a moment. A few minutes later, a woman walked out on a cane. She appeared to be his wife. She went to the same car. It took her a while to get to the car because she was walking very slowly. I watched the husband who seemed to have no interest in assisting his wife. She struggled to get into the car alone. He never even opened the door for her. I wondered about his attitude. Why would he leave his wife to fend for herself like that? It saddened me.
Unfortunately, that is the state of marriages all over this country. We have such a casual attitude toward holy matrimony. There is no reverence for the sanctified covenant that God initiated. We got all excited over the “event” of marriage. But somehow we’ve lost our fervor for the journey. We take one another for granted; exchanging harsh words and glaring looks. There is no spouse loyalty. We say whatever we want to and about our spouse. Our respect for each other has diminished over a period of time. And most often, that time has been quite abrupt. It seems that the most that we can hope for is a platonic semi-friendly relationship.
This is certainly not God’s will. He expected that we would delight in the marriage relationship. He instructed us to live joyfully with the wife of our youth. Marriage is to be a celebration of intimacy and friendship. So how do we keep the fire alive and make sure that we don’t become that couple?
- Speak life-giving words to each other every single day. (Hebrews 3:13)
- Pray for our spouses daily and add ourselves to that list. (I Thess 5:17)
- Say, I love you, and mean it. (Ephesians 5:25)
- Consider our spouse before ourselves. (Philippians 2:4)
- Don’t let the sun go down on our anger. Talk it through (Ephesians 4:26)
- Forgive. (Matthew 18:21,22)
- Maintain a date night every week (Proverbs 5:18)
- Study the Word together (II Timothy 2:15)
It takes work to have a successful marriage. You get out of it what you put in.
